Socially Single: How to handle a ‘bad’ date

Kelsey_1By Kelsey Foster

Everyone in the dating trenches will face a bad date at some point. While these situations make for hilarious anecdotes after the fact…when you are on a disastrous date, even the most confident dater can become flustered.

What constitutes a bad date varies, what’s annoying to one person is charming to another. Here are three common dating debacles and how to handle them.

Scene 1: Your Date is Boring
His online profile was full of wit, but in person, it’s dullsville. It’s possible he’s just nervous so I suggest giving him the benefit of the doubt. A first date plan should already have a defined ending time, so if it’s for coffee or dinner, I say be polite and see it through. Once the coffee or meal is finished, thank him for his time and exit.

If you know you definitely aren’t interested in meeting up again, tell him. If a second date is suggested, a kind response of “I don’t think we are a match. I wish you well in your search!” is a way to cut him loose. Yes, it’s scary to be so direct but honesty is your best bet.

Scene 2: Halitosis and Other Awkwardness
She’s super cute but you can’t help but notice her killer breath. This one is simple, offer up a mint and pop one yourself. Piece of dinner in his teeth? Be bold and tell him. We’re grown-ups and we know these things can happen. A simple faux pas shouldn’t totally ruin your night. Address it and move on.

Scene 3: Party Animal
The date was for drinks and wow, he meant it. He went from buzzed to sloppy before happy hour ended. Your first concern should be safety. If he drove, don’t let him get behind the wheel. Call him a taxi to get home safe. If he’s your ride, take your own cab home. Be smart and safe: Getting in a car with a drunk is always a bad idea.

The follow-up? It’s possible your date doesn’t make a habit of over-indulging and this was a one-time occurrence…though it could be a red flag to a bigger issue. If you decide to go out again, suggest an outing where alcohol isn’t involved.

To wrap it up, my three rules for dating are maintain your integrity, stay safe, and have fun. When a dating disaster strikes, just get out of there as gracefully as you can. And share the funny story with friends later!

What bad dates have you experienced and how did you handle them? Share below!

Kelsey Foster is a dating and relationship coach in Edmonds. She is releasing a new book soon titled Adios, Heartbreak. Find out more information on her website.

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