By Kelsey Foster

Something I’ve discovered in working as a relationship coach and writer is how many of us unwittingly sabotage ourselves in love by holding on to negative beliefs. I’ll give you some examples.

A woman dates a man who turns out to be a cheating scoundrel. Rather than view that as an experience with an individual, now, any time her trust is tested with a man she thinks “All men are dogs.”

A man gets involved with a woman who unfortunately is only interested in what he can buy for her rather than the great person he is. He develops a viewpoint that women are gold diggers based on that disappointment.

Maybe you are hoping to find the love of your life, yet the last few relationships stalled out for one reason or another. And now, you tell yourself you have bad luck in love.

These attitudes are actually quite prevalent in our society. These stereotypes are commonly portrayed on TV and in the movies. We nod our heads in agreement because either we’ve experienced it or know someone who has.

News flash: just because a few rotten apples have displayed bad behavior, it doesn’t mean they represent their entire gender. And I think intellectually, we all know that to be true. However, when we repeat these negative beliefs, we end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of only finding the bad, rather than being open to the good.

Luckily you can create a positive change in your relationships simply by shifting the way in which you talk about (and think about) love, past and future. To facilitate this positivity, I’m hosting a free 30-day program called Improve Your Love-itude. I’d love to have you join me!

The process is simple, sign up and every day for 30 days I will email you a simple message to get your         love-thoughts moving away from the negative and toward the positive. It’s totally private and actually, not time consuming either. Research says it takes less than 30 days to create a new habit, so by the end of the challenge, a positive mindset toward relationships should be practically second nature for you.

Why call it a challenge? You’ve probably seen challenges about improving fitness or losing weight. The idea is that you are committing to reach a goal over a specific time period. So instead of doing sit-ups or dropping pounds, I’m challenging you to improve your attitude about love with the goal of more happiness with yourself and others as the result.

We start Monday, May 20. For more information and to sign up, click over to my website.

I can’t wait to meet you on the challenge!

Kelsey Foster is a dating and relationship coach in Edmonds. She is releasing a new book soon titled Adios, Heartbreak. Find out more information on her website https://www.kelseyfoster.com.