Coronavirus Chronicles: Goodbyes are hard, hellos are harder

Jenny and Aaron Smith recently moved to Edmonds with their children Isabella, 8 and Wesley, 5. (Photos courtesy Jenny Smith)

When Jenny Smith moved to Edmonds in the middle of the pandemic, she thought distanced goodbyes would be the hardest part.

“But, I am not prepared for this hello,” she said from her new home in downtown Edmonds. “It’s still so isolating. We’re falling in love with this place, but how bizarre to be here.”

Smith and her family moved in June for her new position as pastor of the Edmonds United Methodist Church. Normally, she’d be busy greeting her church community while helping her young children make neighborhood friends. Instead, she’s recording video sermons from an empty sanctuary, and turning online to seek playmates for “socially-distanced walks.”

“It hit me that I’m stuck in the middle,” Smith said. “I can’t go back to where all my friends are, and I don’t know how going forward even happens.”

While the pandemic has exacerbated isolation and loneliness for many people, Smith shared the distinct challenges of trying to create a new community and build social connections in a world where people are striving to maintain distance.

A devastating goodbye

Smith, who was a pastor in Marysville, received a phone call in February, asking her to assume the role for the Edmonds church. The plan was to move in June with her husband Aaron, who makes custom rustic wood furniture, and children Isabella, 8 and Wesley, 5.

Just before she planned to share her news, the pandemic shut everything down.

“I was just devasted,” she said. “We were all trying to figure out what was going on in the world and now we had to move.”

At that point, the transition was still months away, but the stress and anxiety surrounding the change fueled an early packing spree. Even though Smith had moved many times—she’s lived in Ohio, Florida and Alaska—this goodbye was incomparable.

“It was just devastating,” she said.

As Smith sheltered with her family at home, she “cried out” the thoughts she may have otherwise shared in person into a self-published book. Before leaving, she arranged for a distanced book signing on the front lawn of the church. Smith couldn’t hug goodbye, so she brought her hands to her heart in a gesture of love.

Pastor Jenny Smith

On to Edmonds

At the end of June, a few friends helped Smith and her family pack up and move to her new home.

Since the church is still doing online services, she is preaching alone, laughing at her own jokes in an empty sanctuary. Smith said she misses the lighthearted banter and hallway conversations that help develop deeper connections.

“That’s so much a part of community building: How are your kids? How is the weather?” she said. “It plants seeds of trust.”

The church arranged a scavenger hunt for the Smith family to get to know Edmonds. On a beautiful blue-skies day, she walked with her kids around town, finding distinctive landmarks such as the Orca sculpture at Brackett’s Landing and the pirate in the window of Treasures & Teas downtown.

While they loved what they saw, the family still misses some of the rituals that can help you feel part of a new place, like getting to know your local library. One day, her daughter Isabella asked: “Can we go meet the neighbors? Let’s go look for kids!”

They decided to write out notes for people on their street with their names, ages and contact information.

“Normally, I wouldn’t be so forward, but I’m 20 feet away and I might not meet them,” Smith said. “It’s weird.”

Smith also posted on a local Facebook Moms group seeking “walking buddies.” While about a dozen moms offered to meet up, it’s been daunting to take the next step.

She wants to meet in a safe way, which is hard enough to navigate when you know someone. Connecting with strangers adds a layer of complexity: Do you agree in advance to wear masks for outside walks? How far apart do you stay?

On one of their own explorations around town, the kids found a man using a large bubble wand to create magic at Olympic Beach.  Briefly, she considered if they’d get too close to other kids in their quest to catch a giant soap bubble. Then, she looked at their faces, lit up with joy, and said: “Go for it.”

Smith said she feels hopeful about Edmonds, especially after seeing the town’s response to the Black Lives Matter protests, and the plentiful signs supporting the movement.

“Something about the spirit of this town seems so entirely open to change and doing the important work before us,” she said. “That is something to be celebrated.”

Since lots of people walk through the church’s parking lot off Caspers Street, they’ve also considered posting signs of kindness or using chalk to send messages of positivity. Despite the challenges of the pandemic world, Smith said she’s committed to connecting – even if that connection comes in a different form.

“We want to plant a flag – we’re here now and we don’t want to be over in our little corner,” she said. “We know one day this will be in the past, but that day is not today.”

— By Kellie Schmitt

This article is part of an ongoing series exploring the impact of coronavirus on the life, work and health of Edmonds residents. If you or someone you know has a story to tell, please email us at myedmondsnews@gmail.com. For other stories in this series, click here.

  1. I have enjoyed our brief meetings and look forward to many more connections. If you would like to join me at the Edmonds Food Bank, there are many wonderful volunteers who would love to meet you and connect. We have a large and very special team of volunteers. I’m in the church directory if you want to coordinate or you can always just drop in . We are so glad you are here and are excited for your leadership and partnership to help heal our church, our community and our world!

  2. Welcome to you, Jenny and family. I understand the transition must be very hard for your entire family. Remember
    any move takes time to adjust, pray to God for those patience to understand and fell “more at home” in Edmonds.
    You and your family that this is a very friendly community including the very gracious EUMC congregation. There will be a day when you will get to meet all of the congregates who are anxious to meet you too.

    I would be more than happy to have a little walk around the neighborhood with you sometime. I live just north of the Holy Rosary Church and across the street from the church on the corner of 7th and Daley Street. If you happen to be walking in this area and spot a red Chevy HHR parked by the School Street sign on east side of Daley St. and want a walking partner just give me a call (I am in the Directory) and hopefully, I will be able to join you.

    I have been a member of EUMC for 13+ years and feel very disconnected at this Pandemic time too. In the past I have been a very active volunteer at the church and I do miss “my one and only family there”. Reaching out with God’s help we will meet!

    Sending you and your family a Virtual Hug – I am Sharon Arttazia July 19, 2020

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