In the threeish years I’ve been actively writing for and about Edmonds and its surrounding areas, I’ve gotten questions about how I’ve become locally known. And, because I understand the world through stories, here’s one that will help you understand the answer to that question.
(Also, hi Lisa! If you’re reading this, your hello at Taste Edmonds is still making my day. This column is at least partially inspired by you, so thank you!)
In seventh grade, I ran for class representative. My main competitor was a male classmate named Ahmir.
I liked Ahmir. He was kind and quiet. He had a grounding energy I admired, even at 12 years old.
I knew I had more friends than he did, not in a petty way, but in a social-politics-are-often-obvious-in-middle-school kind of way. I thought he could use more votes, so I voted for him.
I won the election.
I was thrilled!
I was also sad for Ahmir.
A few weeks later, I told my grandma about the election and voting for my classmate.
She looked at me, clearly puzzled.
“Oh, honey,” she said. “How can you expect anyone else to vote for you if you don’t vote for yourself?”
I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t a lack of confidence thing. It was a genuine kindness. At least, that’s what I thought it was.
She wouldn’t hear of it.
I can like and respect my opponents, she assured me, and still whoop them in the polls.
Ever since my grandma schooled me on adolescent elections, I’ve carried that lesson with me. I vote for myself often and always.
In my adult life and business, that looks like:
Talking about what I do (help local small businesses sparkle online, heyyyy). I do that here, of course, on Instagram more often than I used to think I *should,* and in every room I can.
Getting uncomfortable. It may not seem like it from the seventh-grade election story, but on the spectrum of introversion to extroversion, I am mostly introverted. I recharge with my cats and my weighted blankets and my books for days after a particularly social week, so when Workhorse became a client of mine and I used it as a conversation starter around town, I was deeply uncomfortable. I was also thrilled to have a talking point with other local businesses that didn’t include my kids (all love to ODP and BNP).
Ignoring well-intentioned advice, especially from people whose lives I don’t admire or care to emulate. I can be gracious in hearing it. Choosing to apply how people tell me to live is another conversation—with myself and maybe some trusted inner circle people—entirely.
Exploring my community. When I first started my business (at home with an infant), I believed that hours spent in front of the computer = productivity and worth. I spent a lot of my day refreshing my email. Old habits and conditioning die hard, I suppose. But, once I moved to Edmonds and started walking the blocks with my pregnant belly and a stroller on a mission to find a local client, I got more used to the idea that “work” can take all kinds of forms. And, it can be fun! Often. Now, I enjoy the gift of trying new restaurants (go to Harvest Wonton Noodle and Il Viale / Bar Americano if you haven’t already), lingering over coffee, walking along the water, enjoying mid-day workouts, and spending extra time chatting with store employees not only for the articles I write for Explore Edmonds and Ed!, but because serving and supporting my community makes me happy. And a happy business owner is a fruitful one.
Embracing my lack of filter. Look, if I like your nails, I’m going to tell you. My best friend’s sister is a teacher who told me she uses an acronym called OTMOTM to describe some of her students. It means “On the mind, out the mouth.” If I am standing in the preschool pickup line admiring another mom’s outfit, I tell her. It’s the positive use of the lack of filter I’ve embraced that has been wonderfully beneficial, at minimum because it usually makes the other person smile.
Here’s the short of it: If you have a goal of your community knowing you better, not sharing yourself with it is keeping you small. Not saying something beautiful you’re thinking about a stranger is making both your days a little less rich. Talking yourself out of things that feel mildly uncomfortable isn’t serving you. I’m not saying I’m the Macklemore of Edmonds (yet), but my willingness to open myself up to the community has made my life so much more fun—and it’s brought me closer to all of you, especially when you trot over calling my name.
— By Whitney Popa
Whitney Popa is a writer and communications consultant in Edmonds and Emilie Given is a virtual assistant agency owner in Lynnwood. They write this column together to share work-from-home ideas. They love where they live and are grateful the virtual world allows them to achieve more work/life harmony. They also co-host a weekly podcast where they share their entrepreneurship journeys while learning about those of others. You can learn more about Emilie here and more about Whitney here.
Terrific column! I especially appreciate the messages about reaching outside of ourselves in ways that improve everyone’s day. Thank you for these reminders.
Appreciate you, Matthew! And, yeah, little warm and fuzzies go a long way. A man came up really close to me at the Farmers Market on Saturday. I didn’t know him, so I was kinda thinking “This guy is invading my bubble,” but then he said “I love your nails” and I knew why he was so close. Made my day!
Hi right back! 🙂 Your articles bring such a fresh and unique perspective; keep’em coming!
omg, hi! we will!
Wow. You are truly a gift to Edmonds, Whitney. The way you are and way you respond to people is something to behold. I remember moving here 32 years ago and being unfiltered and being from the Midwest I was used to giving compliments and smiling at strangers and saying hello when I passed a stranger on a sidewalk. I stopped because it wasn’t very well received. It does warm my heart seeing that you are maybe changing others with your welcoming ways. I believe it is never too late so good for you. I hope to see you sometime and compliment you or just say a friendly hello. It’s funny how one person one idea can make others want to be kinder. I just got a call while writing this from a psychiatrist/nurse I know as a friend, and I told her about you and how you are giving hope to these new generations and beyond with your warmth and caring ways. She loved it as she councils many people of all ages and agreed that loving and caring and showing it is a way to combat some of the issues, she encounters with her patients every single day. Thank you, Whitney.
Deborah, thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Honestly, the unfiltered kindness is a practice for me that became a habit and eventually a big part of my personality. I had to push some side eye on the receiving end, especially before I moved to Edmonds, but once I got here, I loved living in this community so much I decided I didn’t care if they gave me weird looks because I complimented their nails. And, really, no one here has. In my sorority, we called them “warm & fuzzies” and we’d post written notes like little gifts on a bulletin board at the top of the stairs. I think of it like that—spreading warm & fuzzies like glitter. They can only do good. I’m often walking around town with my two kids in the afternoon. Hope to meet you!
Ah that is very nice. Warm and Fuzzies to you. I hope to see you too. Deb.